Elsewhere on my site one can find a study of mine concerning the origin, use and effects of the term remedium concupiscentiae, formerly designated as a 'secondary' end of marriage. The two articles that follow here have been condensed by Faith Magazine from portions of that study. In publication, considerations of space made it necessary to omit certain passages or references that fill in the argument. Those interested can refer to the full study: "A Postscript to the remedium concupiscentiae" (The Thomist 70 (2006) 481-536) at node/934 on the site.
The Theology of the Body and the Healing of Concupiscence (FAITH July-August 2012)
Rediscovering Conjugal Love as it was 'in the beginning'
The constant reference point for married life and vocation which Pope John Paul II presented throughout his 1979-1984 weekly Catechesis was "marriage constituted in the beginning, in the state of original innocence, in the context of the sacrament of creation" (Theology of the Body, 338), called to be a "visible sign of God's creative love" (ibid. 379). That original human state was marked by a perfect harmony, within each one, of body and spirit. "This harmony, that is precisely purity of heart, enabled man and woman in the state of original innocence to experience simply (and in a way that originally made them both happy) the uniting power of their bodies, which was, so to speak, the unsuspected substratum of their personal union or communio personarum" (ib. 204).
Sex and Love before Marriage 
The sexual relationship is a key factor in the normal process by which each man or woman grows to maturity. Sexuality presents itself to the vast majority of people as filled with interest and indeed fascination. It holds out the hope of a special happiness; and yet is so often characterized by tension and strife. It can be colored by idealism, and clouded by obsession. Tending to draw people powerfully together, it can also leave them bitterly separated.
If sexuality is so important in personal development and in interpersonal relationships, why should it be such a delicate matter to handle, and so filled with complexities and dangers?
It may help towards unraveling this mystery if we start from the concept of simple friendship, especially as the sexual relationship we wish to consider here implies or should imply a special form of friendship.